Too Much Choklit! Just Inject It Into My Veins!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

 

If my mind were a tag cloud, size hierarchy would see the terms “breasts” and “Dragonforce” in high relevance. Not far from the top, “choklit” and “buffet” would also signal my high interest. Put latter two together and my brain would formulate a target of such high importance, it can be etched on the list of life goals, somewhere between “Owning a Gibson SG Doubleneck” and “Bedding Asian Twins”. And that’s where the Elation event came in.

While it was clear on my mind what I wanted, here’s some useful info. The Elation buffet actually served as a launch for a service providing chocolate buffets and signature shooters. At least that was my understanding of it. Hope the organizers care to correct me or at least not mind that they we’re just compared to advanced sexual fantasies.

As for the event itself, accounts that this was like some junior prom are true. The place eventually packed up with tweens who know more trivia on Twilight and Gossip Girl than I ever will. The group I was with felt like partying faculty members – having fun but trying not to unclench too much to save from the embarrassment and maybe potential blackmail.

At the end of it all, I still got my choklit fix, which served as a twisted support mechanism to prevent me from getting hammered after all the free alcohol shooters being continuously served that night. Though nothing was there to save me from crashing due to all that sugar. Post event health complications aside, I though it was alright.

Ocean Park Madness

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Seemed like an awesome idea at the time. Go all the way to the other side of town to the recently built marine park. Make sure on that day (a) the weather is confused and (b) every durn public school is having their field trip. Also (c) get feet raped by hoards of tiny fish. But the real adventure was in getting there:

Day began with a geographically challenged cabbie who took us half a dozen block in the wrong way, all while practically insisting the map I brought with me is full of lies. LIES! *shakes fist*

I hope you don’t follow exaggerations too literally cuz seems like every goddamn public school dediced to have their field trips all on the same day, all in the same place. Like a MILLION kids we’re in front of us in line! All of a sudden it was college registration all over again - pick a stub and wait for your number. Decided to wait at the nearby cookie place. For entertainment, I brought a copy of Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge while using my camera’s zoom too see if my number was up. Lovely

The place itself was rather nice albeit in progress. Though made less memorable due all the kids there. Seems the only place for solitude was the fish spa. To the lots of tiny Doctor Fishes lightly gnawing at your legs noming on dead skin, my callously feet seemed like a feast. My “date” in the sense got cheated due to me practically hogging all the fishies but given how effing gross and awkward it felt, she didn’t care. Them little bastards raped me. 

Like I said, the place was still in progress. Wouldn’t mind going back once it’s all done. I mean we’ve pretty much experienced numerous red flags first hand to know better and make the 2nd trip a little more worthwhile. Plus i’d bring friends. And watch them squirm in the fish spa. Just because.  

Looks like I’m pretty much covered til next year.

Off To A GREAT Start!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

1. Elaborate on your default picture.

It was a good beard day.
2. What’s your current relationship status?
Better.

3. Last sport you played?
Chasing around your 2 year old niece after ice cream at the local Dairy Queen should be a sport.

4. Name an obvious quality you have?
Funny. Mean. Funny and mean.

5. What’s the name of the song that’s stuck in your head right now?
“Island” by The Starting Line

6. Name a celebrity you would marry?
Scarlett Johanson around the time of Lost In Translation. Sorry. I seem to be in love with eras over persons.

7. Who will cut and paste this first?
Attention seeking whores. Whores!

8. Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity?
I was told I look like a young Paul Newman. That is a lie.

9. Do you wear a watch?
No.

10. Do you have anything pierced?
My heart’s been poked at numerous times. (Fag! Emo!)

11. Do you have any tattoos?
A tattoo of a monopoly guy-esque mustache on mah fez. Someday…

12. Do you like pain?
Only for certain physical activities.

13. Do you like to shop?
Window shopping online is the usual case.

14. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
Movie tickets to the latest Bond film.

15. What is your favorite lamp that you own?
Clip on lamp on the headboard of my bed. For reading. And camwhoring.

16. How many TVs are in your house?
Four.

17. What is on your desktop background?
Some sparkly, vector, organic design.

18. What is the background on your cell phone?
Whatever came with the durn phone.

19. What was the last movie you watched in theaters?
See #14.

20. What was the last book you read?
Not a book. The Umbrella Academy by that My Chemical Romance guy. Not bad.

21. Do you talk in your sleep?
No. I sing.

22. Ocean or pool?
Both.

23. Did you ever have a party that was busted by the cops?
No. I don’t party that hard.

24. Current crush?
Never seems to be in the same country as me. Nurts!

25. What’s your favorite color(s)?
Drab colors.

26. Window seat or aisle seat?
Window. So I can fall asleep looking outside.

27. Ever met anyone famous?
Everytime I look in the mirror. See what I did there?

28. Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life?
No. I fuck up lots.

29. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
Twirl. Same with women. What?

30. Ricki Lake or Oprah Winfrey?
Oprah. A pregnant man!

31. Baseball or Football?
Wrasslin’

32. How long do your showers last?
No crying, 15min. With crying, 30-45min.

33. Do you know how to drive a stick?
Yes.

34. Cake or ice cream?
Ice Cream Cake. World peace can be achieved with it.

35. Are you self-conscious?
…yes.

36. Have you ever given money to a homeless person?
Yes.

37. Have you been in love?
No. I am a robot. You’re argument is invalid.

38. What is your favorite part of the Day / Night?
Breakfast.

39. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
No.

40. Can you tango?
No. Where is this going?

41. Last gift you received?
Food.

42. Ever had a near death experience?
No.

43. What would you like to spend a lot of time doing?
Noodling with the geetar.

44. Last wedding attended?
Civil wedding of my two dear friends by Colonel Sanders.

45. Favorite FAST food restaurant?
Mcdo.

46. Most hated food?
For the most part, I am still a vegetable rebel.

47. Can you sing?
Allegedly.

48. Last person that called you?
Mom.

49. What’s your least favorite chore?
Fixing shit at home.

50. Favorite drink?
Minutemaid OJ

51. Have you been on a cruise?
No.

52. Are you a vegetarian?
See #46.

53. Do you believe in Heaven?
I am yet to craft my own vision of it. But i’m fine with how its represented in pop culture.

54. Favorite show?
Late night talk shows.

55. What jewelry do you wear?
Nuthin.

56. Are you eating?
Just had breakfast.

57. Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
Yes. Wait, no. Can you repeat the question?

58. Do you make commitments?
I try.

59. Can you dance?
Dude, no.

60. Would you ever have plastic surgery?
Soon as I’m bored and with money to burn.

61. What do you wear to bed?
Boxers, blankets, another person, preferably female.

62. Have you ever done anything illegal?
Prolly.

63. Can you roll your tongue?
Y-yeah.

64. What kind of shoes are you wearing?
Cheap loafer type sneakers.

65. What is your hair color?
Black. Few strands of gray.

66. What is your future Child’s name?
Robocop.

67. Do you snore?
Oh yes.

68. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Japan. Wherever it’s nicer, cleaner, picturesque.

69. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
Most women consider me as one.

70. If you won the lottery, what would you do?
Give it to my family. I’m honestly more comfortable earning it.

71. Gold or silver?
Gold. Silver is like being the #1 loser.

72. If you could be with someone for the rest of your life, who would it be?
Come back in a few years. Might know then.

73. City, beach or country?
All within close proximity.

74. What was the last thing you touched?
Myself. LOL no my keyboard silly. K fine, myself.

75. Where did you eat out last?
Some schmancy place in Greenbelt.

76. When’s the last time you cried?
When I saw Wall-E.

77. Do you read blogs?
Yes. Whichever makes me laugh.

78. Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
No. Animals, yes.

79. Ever been involved with the police?
No. Least not yet.

80. Do you have something you wanna tell someone right now?
I’m waiting.